he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
True college students do jello shots in the library
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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