i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
