she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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