Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
