do herpes really smell.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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