after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
