I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
