Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish my penis had an off switch
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
