I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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