I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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