Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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