stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
