He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize