it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am one with the molecules
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
