A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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