this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
