I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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