when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i believe in u and ur pee
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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