I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
