the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize