So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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