I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
