I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
