32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
smell my finger.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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