But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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