Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
