yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
