Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
