oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
