Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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