Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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