yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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