My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
