Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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