you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
