Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Too much gin, very little bucket
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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