Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
