We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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