I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
