you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
