the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
