I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
