Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
