Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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