you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
