just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
