yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
