omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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