weddingsv make me drug and hornr
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
