Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
