In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
