so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
