So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
