dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
