For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have fence marks all over my body
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
