help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
