discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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