2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
