sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize