I murdered the dance floor call the cops
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
