I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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